Don't stop me dreaming

I'm a big dreamer. I live in a world of fantasies. I'm full of big ideas and not much more. I need my dreams though. for if I shut my eyes and saw myself growing old in this flat I would seriously consider ending my life.  I dream of a house, not a big house, but a house I can build with my own hands, maybe with some help of friends and family (if I had any) Okay, that was uncalled for, I know I have lots of friends, and you all know who you are but if I had the money and resources (which, I don't right now, but hey maybe someday I am only 25) would you help me build a house?

I dream of a Garden, a beautiful colourful garden with lots of birds and creatures, maybe a garden I can grow my own food in too, I dream big like that. I dream of planting it with my children, maybe even my grandchildren, because lets face it my kids are half way grown and I'm nowhere near realizing my dreams.


It's craziness because I know all of this is unlikely to ever happen. As it is I can't even grow a cress head on my windowsill or hang a curtain rail. It would be a great place to start, absolutely and if I fail I try again and again until I am sucessful. Ah you see I'm full of ambition like that but the reality is I'm not going to hang that curtain rail and I'm not going to grow that cress head. why? maybe I'm lazy.. maybe I'm afraid.. I don't really know for sure but I'll still dream about it. I'll dream of the things I could do if only I tried and I'll probably never get around to it and I'll never know why for sure. and of course, these are things the children will need to be able to do eventually as well, but if their own mother and father don't do it, where will they learn it? for god sake give me a hammer! I need to figure this out for the childrens sake! Now, If I can manage that sucessfully (we will see) I know I can get around to building that house.. right? wrong. my husband is not very enthusiastic about it. Oh, he's all for the idea of having our own house built, if we had the money and resourses, as long as we don't have to design it or lift a finger, now what's the fun in that? sure we'll have a beautiful sturdy house to live in but it won't mean much more than a roof over my head if I don't make myself a part of it!

I am a dreamer. I try to dream realistically but Dreams aren't meant to be realistic are they? Just please, Don't stop me dreaming.