Enjoy the Noise!

I often complain about my children and find myself wishing I had more alone time with my husband or indeed just myself. I sometimes wish they would sit still and keep quiet and I find myself looking forward to certain ages. I get tired of constantly being surrounded by mess and find myself wishing they would help tidy up more. Often I think about what it would be like to have just one child.

my eldest and middle child went to sleep over at their cousins tonight and on the journey home the ride seemed calm and peaceful. My youngest didn't even seem to notice they weren't there which was my fear at the time. But as my husband my youngest and I got out of the car I felt that first pang of emptiness. It was awkward walking the short distance from the car to the door without the 2 older kids racing ahead bickering about something or another. We had only our youngest to entertain and get ready for bed and it was of course much easier than fighting with 3 to get in a bath and into bed. But as I put him to bed and the house fell silent I found myself missing the battle of getting my middle child into bed. I missed the 'I need a pee' 'I'm thirsty' 'Read me another story' 'Stay with me' I had peace to do what I wanted much sooner than usual and I didn't really enjoy it, I just missed the noise! I can clean my home without them running around undoing everything I've done but I don't really want to, the mess is comforting. I am glad that they are only gone for one night and I hope they atleast miss me half as much as I miss them!

I am thinking about the future now and it scares me. I dread the day they all move out, even though some days I tell myself it will be good when they are grown up. I see a clean house with only the sound of my own thoughts. I used to fantasize about time to read books and write stories and indeed clean the house, but now it just seems so bleak.

I am grateful that we have the freedom to home school our children and for all those precious hours I get to spend with my noisy messy children because as lonely as one night with two out of three children at a sleepover is, it will get so much more lonelier when they are all grown and it will go by so fast, I don't want to miss any of it!

I may scream at my kids for being noisy or messy or naughty but I honestly couldn't dream of having them any other way! I Can hardly wait til morning when the noise and mess is back!